Broken Puzzle
by Neko Syaoran
Summary: AU/crackfic?  Lovino Vargas has quite a few problems. He's adopted, has a man as his mother figure, has a creepy adopted sister, and is new to this strange city. Can Lovino and his weird family stay together through the ups and downs of life?
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: Yay, new work~! I know, I need to update my other stories and I'm working on that, but I thought it would better to introduce something that seems a little bit different from my usual light-hearted works. I guess you can call this a crackfic, but my inspiration came from silly nicknames a friend and I call each other by. So yeah, enjoy!**

**Warnings: None.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia and its lovely characters are owned by Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing but the idea of the plot.**

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

I was running. I couldn't remember who I was running from or where I was running to. All I knew was that I was running from something, along with my little brothers right behind me. Or so I thought. I ran along the city streets, eventually running into an alleyway between two brick buildings. I struggled to catch my breath. As I panted, I looked toward the alley's opening to the next street; the sunset's golden glow lighting our path.

"If we keep going," I said, panting in between. "We'll make it! We'll be free!"

Silence responded to my words.

"Hey!" I said, rather annoyed at the lack of a response. "This is no time for a siesta you two!"

I turned around to face them. I was struck by horror at what I saw, or rather what I did not see. My brothers were missing. One of them must have tripped, and the other must have went back to help him.

"Damn it!" I screamed as I bolted out of the alley the same way that I had entered it.

However, a hand grasped onto my shoulder, pulling me gently back into the alley. I spun around, getting ready to head-butt my attacker in the stomach, but I stopped as soon as I saw that my "attacker" was a friend.

"Lovi," He spoke to me. "You must keep going." He took hold of my hand and led us to the opposite end of the alley.

"Wait!" I cried out. "What about my brothers?"

He looked down at me, his green eyes connecting with my hazel ones. "They will be fine." He answered. "I'll go back and stay with them."

"But-"

"You really have no say in this." He smiled at me. "Come on, I think I saw an orphanage near here."

We paused at the opening to the street; the sun had already sunk to the bottom of the skyline, getting ready to say good-night to the rising moon. With a gentle tug on my hand, we ran down the empty street. We were followed by the street lights and darkened buildings as we headed towards an old brick building, which seemed to be the center of the on-coming city street.

Pausing for just a second, we made a dash to the great door of the building before us. He knocked on the door immediately after we reached the steps. Though the door was heavy and thick, we were able to hear footsteps coming closer to the door.

I caught my breath as the footsteps drew closer and closer. I turned to look at my friend, but he was not beside me. As I panicked and looked around to find him, an elderly woman opened the door to the building. The light poured onto me as I turned my attention to the woman. Her face seemed to twist from a gentle smile to one of sadness; it must have been that my eyes had betrayed me and started to tear up as I thought of being alone.

"There' there, sweetie," She said to me as she took my hand and led me inside the building. "It's alright. Goodness, you must be lost." She closed the door as I stood watching her with curious eyes.

"No," I answered her. She stiffened. "I don't have a home anymore." Her sad expression returned as she smiled gently at me.

"Then I guess I'll have to find you a new home." She walked towards a staircase that just so happened to be nearby. "You can stay here if you'd like." She turned towards me. She noticed that I was staring out a nearby window. "It's better than staying out there." I looked up at her. "It's far too dangerous for a child like you."

I nodded as I followed her up the staircase. We walked through a desolate hallway as the sound of rain and thunder began to draw closer to the building. I shook slightly, but I would never confess such a thing to anyone. She saw me though and put her arm around me.

"Now let's see," She said as we walked past various doors. "I'd hate to put you by yourself, but I guess I must." I gulped at the statement. "Don't worry though, if you get frightened you can always go to the last door and stay in there with the other caretakers and myself."

I nodded, not sure of how to respond to her words. The door creaked open as she showed me my room. It was dark, empty, spacious and had two windows on the north wall and a row of windows on the west and east walls. I shivered a bit, knowing that it's exactly what I had dreaded; being reminded that I was alone.

"This is where you will be staying," She said as she turned on the light. "Until I find you a new home." She smiled at me. "I'm sorry that it's so empty."

"No, it's fine." I reassured her as I tried to convince myself. "I'm used to be alone." And that was not far from the truth.

She stared at me a little longer. "Good-night- I'm sorry, I never asked your name."

I smiled at her. "My name is Lovino."

"Good-night Lovino."

"Good-night signorina." And with that she turned off the light and closed the door.

I felt my way to the bed closest to where I stood. After finding it, I laid upon it listening to the drops of rain. It made my mind wash away all that had occurred to me that day, except for what could have happened to my brothers. A clap of thunder and a flash of lightning made me lose my train of thought as I involuntarily grasped the blanket tighter.

_Come on, Lovino._ I thought to myself. _It's just the stupid weather._ Another clap of thunder and a flash of lightning sounded. I pulled the covers over my head.

"Damn it," I whispered to myself. "Why did he leave me all alone?" I sniffed as I listened to the storm. Somehow through the storm, I managed to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 1: A New Day

**Author's Note: Here is the first chapter of Broken Puzzle. Just thought you should at least have a taste of how this fanfic/crackfic/whatever is going to be. Enjoy!**

**Warings: Arthur's cooking and Lovino and Natalia's potty mouths.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia and its lovely characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing but the idea of the plot.**

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><p><span>A New Day<span>

The alarm sounded in the early morning as I tossed around in bed. I groaned at the thought of getting up early and pressed the snooze button on the alarm, hoping that it would just shut up. I turned towards the wall and pulled the blanket up over my head, hoping it would shield me from the annoying rays of the rising sun. Just as I was about to drift back to sleep, my door opened.

"Lovino," Mom said as he entered my room. "Get up, right now."

I shifted a bit, pulling the blanket tighter over my head. "It's still early." I said.

"Early?" He asked. "Lovino, it's seven in the morning." I heard his footsteps come closer. "Get up right now, or you'll be late."

I shifted around to face him, staring straight into his green eyes. "Fuck school." I turned back around again.

"Lovino," He growled as he pulled on the blanket, my grip tightened on it. "Get up now. And don't say things like that! A proper education is good for you!" He successfully pulled the blanket off me.

"Go away." I mumbled as I swatted him away, my hand hitting what I assume was a laundry basket.

He gave up with a sigh as he stepped away from me. "Fine," He walked towards the open doorway. "Natalia, would you be so kind to wake up your brother?" He called out as he exited my room. "He won't get up."

"You wouldn't dare." I said more to myself than anyone. Sure enough, I heard the swift and soft footsteps in the hallway, drawing ever closer to my door. "Damn it!" I yelled as I got up hurriedly off the bed, staring at my mother figure. "Fine, I'll get up." I brushed past him as I headed towards the bathroom.

"Never mind, Natalia," Mom said to my sister. "It looks like I won't be in need of your services." He smiled as I rolled my eyes and Natalia just stared at him. "How about some breakfast, you two?"

Natalia and I glanced at each other briefly. "As long as you're not making it." I said as I closed the bathroom door.

"Lovino!"

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><p>After a quick shower and a change into my uniform, I walked down the staircase. As soon as I came closer to the kitchen, I could smell Mom's wonderful cooking. I scrunched up my nose as the burning smell wafted past me.<p>

"Geez, Mom," I said as I entered, noticing Natalia playing with the cat and pretending that Mom wasn't doing anything. "It's smells… 'nice'." I said sarcastically.

"You mean 'delicious'." He smiled at me as he placed two plates before Natalia and me. "Eat up! You both need a good breakfast." He picked up a nearby cup, and drank its tea contents.

I stared at my plate then glanced over to Natalia. She was picking at the inedible food with her fork, unusually focused on trying to kill the already dead egg. I stared intently at the burnt pancake, wishing that I had gotten up earlier to make breakfast for the three of us.

Peter, our cat, walked up to me and purred a bit. I glanced over to make sure Mom wasn't looking. _Damn it. He's looking at us._

Just as I was about to say something, a loud crash sounded from our neighbors' house. It was soon joined by shouts of anger from the same house.

"What are those two gits doing this early in the morning?" Mom put down his cup of tea hastily and marched over to the window.

"Hey, you two!" He shouted as soon as he opened the window. In this moment, both Natalia and I gave Peter a bit of our breakfast. He ate it quickly and walked off the table. "Will you shut up? Some people are trying to have a nice quiet morning."

I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes as I heard a "Good morning, Artie!" from our noisy neighbor. Natalia seemed somewhat amused by Mom's reaction.

"Don't call me that!" He growled, as Peter jumped onto the counter near him.

"Good morning, Arthur." A softer voice replied. "Sorry, did we wake you?"

"Good morning, Matthew." Mom said calmly, as Peter brushed against his arm. "No, but I'm sure that your brother woke up the neighborhood." He started to pet Peter, who in turn started to scratch at his hand.

"Why are you so nice to Matt?" I heard Alfred shout back.

"He is a gentleman, unlike you." Mom spat back. I decided to lay my head on the table, since I might be there for awhile.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Natalia turn her head to look at the clock.

"Mom?" She asked, successfully gaining his attention. "Aren't you going to be late for work?"

He glanced up at the clock as he picked up Peter and closed the window. "No, the last time I checked I had about half an hour." Mom or maybe I should say Arthur, glanced up at the clock. "Oh, rats! I am late!" He exclaimed as Peter was dropped to the ground in a sense of panic. Arthur ran out of the kitchen and straight to the entrance closet, where his coat was. He hastily put it on as he headed out the door. "Have a good first day, kids!" He waved and shut the door behind him.

Natalia and I both listened in silence as our mother figure's car drove off down the suburb road. Peter meowed as he walked off in the living, possible retreating to his cat tree. We stayed sitting at the table for a few minutes, Natalia staring off into her own twisted world and myself scribbling a few notes on a piece of paper before I got up and put my plate in the sink.

I scraped the left over bits of breakfast off into the garbage disposal. Natalia stood up and handed her plate to me, her ever present and somewhat creepy glare scaring me into cleaning it for her.

"Could we perhaps stop by the Corner Café on the way to school?" She asked me and I shoveled the generous amount of burnt breakfast down the disposal, flipping the switch to turn it on.

Once everything was demolished, I shut the annoying appliance off. "I guess, if you're still hungry." A growl from my stomach echoed the room, emphasizing that there was no other option than stopping by the little café.

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><p>"Thank you," I said hastily as I handed the money to the café owner.<p>

"You're welcome," He replied in a somewhat stuffy manner. He handed me the latte, muffins, and the correct change. "Please do come again." He smiled as Natalia and I walked out of the ornate Austrian café and onto the main street.

I mumble incoherently as I handed a blueberry muffin to Natalia, who bowed her head in "thanks". I stashed the other muffin in my pocket and we walked up the street to school. I shivered a bit as I took a sip of my latte. It was surprisingly cold for a late summer day, but hell, if that meant my latte tasted better I could care less.

Natalia nibbled at her muffin as we continued walking. After walking past the antique store and various clothing shops, the school came into view, along with other students. We dodged the odd and awkward glances and stares in our direction. Damn it, didn't people know it's impolite to stare? I gritted my teeth, trying to keep myself from having an outburst again.

"Is that muffin good?" I heard some idiot say in a sarcastic tone.

I looked over at Natalia who glared straight at the asshole trying to mock her. She then took a giant bite of the muffin, finishing it off while baring her teeth. I saw him gulp in fear as I sent a death glare towards him too. The idiot had the guts to glare back.

"Fuck off," Natalia said to him. "Don't you have anything better to do than mock a girl, you sissy?" And with that, Natalia had won the battle as the asshole stormed off, waddling.

"Fucking penguin walker," I said as I finished my latte.


	3. Chapter 2: Monsieur Bonnefoy

**Author's Note: Thank you to those of you who reviewed, favorited, and/or have this story on watch! I really didn't think anyone would like it! So, it saddens me that I hadn't updated it, mostly due to me starting college and not really having time to write chapters. To tell the true, this chapter was meant to be quite longer, but I thought it would be nice to have at least a little update. I apologize for it being so short, and you can expect me to update possibly by the end of this month with at least the second part to this chapter. Thank you again!**

**Warnings: Francis... Oh, and Lovino's potty mouth.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia and its lovely characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing but the idea of this plot.**

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><p><span>Monsieur Bonnefoy<span>

It had been a few months since I first came to this orphanage. Throughout this time I waited for someone to try and take me home, back with my own family, but that never happened. I started to become so frustrated that I took it out on the other orphans. The caretakers would often drag me into the room I was staying in and lock me in there as punishment, and as even more punishment I was forced to stay in that humungous room by myself. I couldn't stand living here in this parentless prison. Every night I would pray for someone, anyone, to come and take me out of this place. I would climb into bed and pull the covers over my head, hiding my face from the world that forgot about me.

As I awoke, the new morning's sunshine shone through the row of windows on the east wall. I tried to block out the sunlight by pulling the blanket over my head, which I did not remember removing from my head in the first place. Had it not been for the echoing of footsteps from the outside hallway, I would have most likely gone back to sleep.

I sat up in bed as the footsteps came closer. I heard a familiar voice followed by two new ones. I removed the covers and got up from the bed. The voices drew nearer.

"So you two are looking to adopt a child?" The main caretaker asked.

"Oh yes," Said another voice.

"Preferably a boy this time," Another voice added in an accusing tone.

"What's wrong with girls?" The second voice asked, obviously trying to pick a fight.

"Well, our daughter seems to be strange and she's always glaring at me."

"Hmph!" I could practically hear that person's dissatisfaction. "But having a boy would be nice too."

I didn't even notice that I had my ear up against the door to hear them. I was startled by the handle creaking downwards. I ran back to the bed and sat down.

"If you're looking for a son, then I assure you that this little boy would be a perfect match for you two." The woman said happily as she cracked the door open. "Oh, so you are awake?"

I stared at her with wide eyes. "Are you alright? Do you have a fever?" If I hadn't been here for two months, I would have thought she was actually worried about me.

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine." She seemed to stare coldly at me after that.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She turned back around to talk to the couple, I assumed. "Would you like to see him?"

"He did sound adorable." The second said, as my cheeks puffed out at the thought of me being adorable. "Yes, of course."

"Whatever." The other voice said.

"Okay, try not to startle the poor dear." The elderly woman chuckled as she opened the door wider. "It seems he has been through a lot in just two months."

I heard the second voice grumble something about "you could at least pretend to care" to the other voice. That's when I realized it, the couple was two guys. My eyes widened at the realization.

"Here he is!" The woman announced to them as I shook away my shock and glared. "His name is… Ah…"

I sighed. "Lovino."

"Right, Lovino." The woman laughed it off and sighed, the men paid no attention to her at all.

I stared at the taller of the two. He seemed to be wishing he was somewhere else, with a bored expression. I knew he could see me out of the corner of his eye, but I looked away as he smirked a bit. I looked through the window next to me, noticing the raindrops from the storm last night. I heard footsteps coming closer to me.

I turned my attention to the person, only to stare into curious green eyes. I stared at him, taking in his physical features. He was blonde and looked somewhat feminine, if only his eyebrows weren't so huge. He backed away so he could look at me better. The other man, I'm assuming his husband, came to stand near him. I just gawked at the pair before me; noticing how tanned the taller man was compared to his spouse or was it visa versa?

"Hello." The blonde man said his expression easing a bit but his eyebrows furrowed a bit. I tried not to laugh at him.

"Hello." I mimicked, not sure of what to say. I looked expectedly at the other man, who seemed to be avoiding making contact with me.

The blonde man noticed that I seemed to be staring his husband. "At least try to be friendly Sadiq."

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><p>I felt something poking me nonstop. I swatted at the thing, hoping it would leave me alone. To my dismay it never left and kept poking my cheeks and my nose. It made a poking trail from my right cheek to ear, where it stopped. I snuggled my head back into my arms as I smiled triumphantly to myself, then I felt the most uncomfortable thing being probed into my ear. My eyes snapped open as I flung my body to my left, hitting the wall. I panted as I saw Monsieur Bonnefoy, my health teacher, stare down at me with a pencil in his hand. I glared at him accusingly.<p>

"Ah, I see that you're now awake, mon ami." He said as he put the pencil on my desk. "This is yours to keep now." I glared even more intensely at the Frenchman, ignoring the odd stares from my peers.

"You just invaded a student's personal space." I said, letting the pencil roll onto the floor in front of me as he walked up the aisle.

He turned and looked at me. "Ah, but you fell asleep during my lesson, which is against the rules in this classroom." Monsieur Bonnefoy stated. "And I do have the right to punish students as I please." He laughed.

I sighed, how I would love to rip out his beard hair by hair right now. Had today not been my first day at this horrible new school, I think I would have.

"Okay class, turn to page 67." Monsieur Bonnefoy instructed as various books were opened simultaneously.

I flipped to the page, as instructed, only to come face to face with the word 'sex'. "God damn it." I thought to myself as I sank into my seat, wishing that the bell would ring already so I could get out of this damn man's classroom.


	4. Chapter 3: Failing Already

**Author's Note:**** OH MY GOSH! I'm so, so sorry that I didn't keep my promise! I'm in college, and my English teacher was driving me up the freaking wall last semester. I swear, a German shouldn't be teaching English 1 in an American college. AND TEACHING ABOUT NUTRITION! Ahem, sorry, needed to vent. But I finally got around to writing this chapter, and I still need to finish of this whole "Monsieur Bonnefoy" thing. However, I wanted to say THANK YOU to all of you who added this fanfiction (and a few of my other fanfics) to your watch list! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I'm so glad that you all enjoy reading this fanfic as much as I enjoy writing it. You are my inspiration.**

**I also forgot to mention, this chapter takes place two months after the last chapter.**

**Warning: Lovino's potty mouth.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or its lovely characters. They all belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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><p>Chapter 3: Failing Already<p>

I stared blankly at the textbook in front of me, the words blurring more the longer I looked at them. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose to keep myself from screaming at it, or sparing it from the abuse of me throwing it across the living room. Peter strolled casually up to me and started meowing for attention. I tried to shoo him away, but he would not budge.

"God damn it!" I shouted as I threw the book across the room, scaring Peter away.

He ran straight to his cat tree and hid himself from my wrath. I heard a door creak open from the upstairs hallway, and then soft steps drawing nearer to the balcony.

"You really need to keep it down," Natalia said to me. "I'm trying to do my séance."

I glared up at her from the leather couch. "You and your freaky crap." She stared back coldly, an eyebrow twitching a bit.

"It's not 'freaky crap.' It's black magic."

"I don't care!" I shouted. "That shouldn't even be in this house!"

Natalia just stared, as usual. "You know, if you keep arguing with me, you'll never get your homework done."

I snorted at the thought. "I don't want to do it anyways." I stated in a matter of fact tone. "Writing essays are ridiculous, especially writing one about sex in health class."

"But you need it in order to pass the class."

"He can suck it."

Natalia smirked for an instant. "He might take that as an invitation."

I glared at her. "You're a sick, twisted little girl!" I almost puked at the thought. "I swear if that French bastard ever did that-"

"Oh, now you're imagining it?" I could have sworn she chuckled a bit. "Now who's sick and twisted?"

I clenched my teeth as I got up to pick up my book. "I'm not imagining it." I hastily picked up the yellow-orange textbook and, almost instinctively, threw it up to the balcony; aimed straight at my sister's face. Natalia had moved out of the way of the projectile, but it fell right before it got to her. Instead, gravity pulled the flying object straight down onto the cat tree, causing Peter to flee in a panicked frenzy.

I stared wide-eyed at the damage, which was total destruction. Peter ran around crying and pawing at his "house." Natalia crept over to the railing and looked down to assess the damage. I caught her shaking her head out of the corner of my eye.

"Arthur's going to love you when he gets home." Natalia stated. If I had not known about Natalia's dry sarcasm, I would have thought she was serious.

"… Shut up."

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><p>I wanted to repeatedly bang my head against my locker. How would I have known that I would not only have to pay for the damages done to the textbook, but also had to pay for not doing my health essay? Natalia stared at me as I kept opening and closing the locker door.<p>

"Venting?" She asked.

I glared at her. "Shut up."

"Arthur's not going to be pleased with you."

"Like he ever was," I sighed. Arthur had gotten mad over me destroying the cat tree, and then I found out that the destroyed cat tree had made a hole in the nearby wall. I sighed again as I opened my locker once again, only this time to get my textbook out for my next class.

Natalia stared at me, watching and waiting for an outburst of anger or violence; a rant of some sort or another. As I closed the locker, I punched it for no reason at all, like a majority of my outbursts.

"Fuck!" I whispered to myself. "Why me?"

Natalia just watched as I leaned my forehead on my locker. Her cold icy stare almost having that warmth and understanding magic in them, it wasn't empathy; it was pity.

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><p>Health went by as usual, incredibly slow. I swear, whatever I did to upset God so much that He would damn me to this hell must've been as equally horrible.<p>

_"It's because you were born."_

I stared blankly at the textbook in front of me, contemplating what would happen if I just disappeared somehow.

_"It's because you let them take you."_

_What was that?_ I thought to myself, finally paying attention to the other voice in my head.

_"It's because you are weak."_

_ No._ I thought back in protest.

_ "It's your fault that your real family is dead."_

_ Leave me alone!_

"Lovino?"

_Go away!_ Wetness, tears like a waterfall.

"Lovino, are you paying attention?"

_"Never."_ Darkness like the deepest, starless part of space.

"Are you okay, Lovino?" A voice said with a sense of panic with a hint of concern. "Lovino?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, a slight push to shake me out of this nightmare. I lifted my head up from my crossed arms. _How did I fall asleep?_ I looked up and saw Monsieur Bonnefoy staring down at me with worried eyes.

"Lovino?" He asked, his hand was still on my shoulder.

"What?" I tried to seem annoyed, but it sounded more lost than anything else.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked me, finally releasing his light grasp on my shoulder.

"I'm…" My words died as the bell rang to signal the end of school.

My classmates packed up their bags and left noisily. I proceeded to gather everything up as Monsieur Bonnefoy sent to his desk. I got up to leave and was about half way to the door when he called me over.

"Lovino, can you come over here for a moment?"

I stared at him, unsure if I should or not. I walked over slowly to give myself reaction time just in case he tried anything weird.

"What?" I asked impatiently.

He handed me a tiny piece of paper with a couple of sentences scrolled out on it.

_Dear Sir/Madam,_

_ Your child has been performing poorly in my class. Concerned about the child's well-being, I would like to hold a parent-teacher conference with you tomorrow after school. Sorry for any inconveniences, but this problem is too great of a distraction to put off any longer._

_Sincerely,_

_Francis Bonnefoy_

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><p>"I have to go to a parent-teacher conference?" Arthur asked as he hastily put his coat in the closet near the front door. I nodded, awaiting the impending doom from my mother figure.<p>

"He gave me a note." I said pulling it out of my pocket. "Here." He snatched it out of my hand as he hurried to the kitchen to make dinner.

"First the wall and Peter's tree, now this." Arthur looked up at me, his eyebrows furrowing. "What's next? Burning our neighbor's lawn because you got kicked out of school?" He took a deep breath and sighed.

"You're taking this really well." I said, for once not being the "sarcastic little shit" that I was.

"Yes, of course I am." Arthur snorted, completely forgetting what he was doing.

Natalia came in and succeeded in pushing the two of us out of the kitchen.

"You're lucky that I have a half day tomorrow." Arthur said as he went to sit on the sofa. "Or else I wouldn't be able to make it."

"So, you're completely fine with this?" I asked.

He nodded his head. "Of course! If it'll stop you from making the same mistakes that I made as a teenager, then I'm willing to sacrifice my free time."

"I don't want to hear about the 70's or 80's, Mom." I laughed. How long had it been since I did so?

He smiled at me. "I'm glad you're better now." Indicating my new mood. "But we have tomorrow to worry about."

Natalia came in and told us that dinner was ready. Peter crawled out from under the sofa and sprinted towards the kitchen door. Arthur and I got up from the sofa and followed them in.

"What's the worst that could happen?" I said, praying that I didn't just jinx myself.


End file.
